I’m (B)ored, Juan Pablo.

To be honest, I find The Bachelor pretty boring this season: no drama, no crazies, no drunken Victoria. Also, Juan Pablo, as hot as he is, kind of grosses me out. I don’t know if it was the use of the “cold snow” as a reason to saddle up behind Clare on the sled or the weird, sweaty, spring break dancing with Kat, but I feel like Mr. Latin Lover doesn’t understand the social parameters of “the bubble.” Plus, why must he dance to make everyone “feel comfortable?” I don’t know about you, but my levels of non-comfort spike whenever some dude starts twirling me around and grinding up into my bubble. Like, stay away from my bubble. I will let you into my bubble when I want you in my bubble, but please don’t force it with some salsa dancing and weird foot movements.

bubble space

Last night at work, the semi-crazy, Elise, came in for some drinks, and I took it upon myself to get some insider deets for you. She was just as aloof in real life as she seems on the show; so the “deets” aren’t that insider, or that interesting, but, nonetheless, here’s what I found:

1)   She blames cultural differences on Juan Pablo’s seemingly lecherous ways.

2)   The drunken Victoria antics were just as bad, if not worse, as they seemed during the episode; it was a real life train wreck, not a magically edited one.

3)   Juan Pablo is just as hot in real life as you’d imagine he is.

Nothing juicy. Thanks for nothing, Elise; you’re boring.